Sasuke Sex God
by 4everShika
Summary: Sasuke maybe with Naruto but will it stay that way.What will Naruto do when he finds out Sasuke has been cheating on him. Contains YAOI Sasunaru and many other couples.
1. and so it starts

-Authors note-

This was written with help from my friend Duncanandme4ever check it out. There are two characters added by Duncanandme4ever and I. They are Shika (Shikamaru's sister) and Mina (Sakura's twin).

Warning: this chapter contains sasunaru yaoi.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Masashi Kishimoto owns it.

Sasuke Sex God

"I know right aren't they so cool?" a light brown haired girl said. "Sasuke why exactly are we talking about weasels," Shika said.

"Uh….urm…..no reason," Sasuke stuttered

"That is such a lie he brought it up beca-" Sasuke cut him off. "Dobe! Don't say anything."

"We were talking about Ita-," Sasuke suddenly dragged Naruto out of the room. "What was that about?" Shikamaru questioned. Both females shrugged their shoulders in answer.

XxXxXx

"Naruto what the hell?" the raven shouted exploding into frustration. "Why would you tell them? You know it's a secret only for those in group 7 to know!" Sasuke screamed in anger.

"I'm sorry Teme," Naruto whispered. As Sasuke looked into the blonde's eyes all he saw was pain and sorrow.

"It's ok Dobe just don't tell them," Sasuke said coolly.

"Fine I won't Teme. So anything else you want to talk about?" the blonde replied.

"Well not talk about," Sasuke said with a smirk. Naruto just smirked back as the raven ran his hand across the blonde's shirt slowly unbuttoning it. The shirt was hanging loosely around his body as he slipped it off. Naruto stood still as his seme took complete control he didn't to disturb him because if he did he'd be punished. A sadistic smile grew across Sasuke's face already knowing what he was doing to the blonde. Naruto silently moaned as Sasuke started nipping his neck.

"You like that Naruto?" the raven purred into Naruto's ear. Sasuke's fingers tangled in the other's golden hair. He wanted to taste him so bad that the thought of it made him drool. Naruto jerked his head away from Sasuke trying to ignore the raven's purrs.

"Don't tempt me Sasuke. I don't want them to hear us," Sasuke stopped the blonde by pushing his index finger to his lips.

"Let them hear," the raven whispered seductively letting his fingers roam the blonde's body. His moans became heavier as Sasuke's hands reached his pants. "Now let the seme do all the work" the blonde just nodded to his moans. Sasuke teasingly unzipped Naruto's pants while moving a series of nips and licks down the blonde's body stopping at the seal mark on his stomach. Suddenly Mina comes walking in staring at Sasuke licking Naruto's seal mark with 1 hand tangled in his golden hair and the other gripping the blonde's hardened cock.

"What are you doing?" Mina asked in an upset tone.

"Oh it's nothing really," Naruto said in a hurry.

"No I mean why didn't you invite me," Mina walked farther in the room and lock the door behind her. The raven took his hands the blonde mentally cursing himself for not locking the door. He then sent an ice cold glare at the pink haired girl in front of him. "Well…..I'm waiting," Mina stated crossing her arms.

"Um….I'm sorry I don't screw chicks related to bitchy forehead," Sasuke said. While they were talking Naruto managed to put his pants on and exited the room. As the raven passed Mina he seductively whispered "Meet me in an hour," then the pink haired girl skipped merrily back to her friends.

XxXxXx

Shika just stared at the completely red half-naked Naruto in disappointment. "What?" the blonde asked nervously then looked down remembering the state he was in.

"Shikamaru are you awake," Shika questioned trying not to think of what Naruto and Sasuke were doing.

"Yes how do you expect me to sleep with all that moaning," Shikamaru said then looked at Naruto turns away and says "Nice hickeys blondy."

Naruto blushed harder trying to quickly to put on his shirt but failing. "Do you have a problem with that!" the blonde yelled.

"Yes because you wouldn't let me make more," Sasuke whispered only for Mina to hear who giggled at Naruto's sudden rage.

"Sasuke-teme, I have to go to meet Iruka-sensei. He's taking me a ramen shop," The blonde then sweetly kissed the raven's cheek.

"Naruto-kun?" Shika whined. As if reading her mind he said "Yes Shika, I'll make sure to bring you some ramen."

"You know me so well," She glomps Naruto as she said it.

"I'm not your best friend for nothing." Naruto laughed at the brunette. "Hey!" Sasuke pushed Shika off of Naruto. "Don't touch the Dobe he's mine!"

"Calm down. He's Gay, so my hugging him won't affect anything at all." Shika cooly replied as she brushed herself off.

"Shika, don't even try to explain it to him. He won't listen at all. It all is ignored anyway because he's totally pissed. Just don't mind him." Shikamaru explained in a bored tone. His sister beamed at him "Ok Nii-san." She grinned at him, happily.

"Well I have to go now. Bye everyone." Naruto started to leave, only to be stopped by a pair of arms being wrapped around his waist. "Don't leave me," came a soft whisper from behind him. The blonde turned to Sasuke and tried not to laugh as he said "I'll be back soon. Let go." With a final kiss on the lips, Naruto finally left.

"Hey Mina, we need to talk," Sasuke said seriously. Mina gave a shy smile and followed Sasuke to a room within his house. It was at the other end of his house and fairly dark. "Finally it's my turn to have fun," Mina said in a loud overly-cheerful voice. Before she knew it her lips were promptly covered by his in a gentle kiss. His hands reached under the hem of her dress to play along the thin line of her lace thong.

"Is that your way of telling me to shut up, because if it is, I wouldn't mind listening." The pinkette said breathlessly. The raven slightly nodded while kissing Mina's neck. She started to moan at his touch, he started to bring his lips farther down her body stopping just above her perk breasts. He could feel himself harden as he lifted her black dress over her head. Mina's hands tangled in his hair, while he nipped at her newly bare skin. Her moans began to quicken and become heavier. She grabbed his shirt tightly and began to tear it.

"You don't think I'm going to let you do all the work, do you?" Mina smirked deviously as she kneeled to remove his pants. The raven then grabbed hold of her pink hair and pulled her to eye level. She squealed in pain. 'Geez you're rough! What was that for?" She whined as she massaged her scalp.

"I'm the seme. I make the moves, so you just sit there and enjoy it. Got it?" He answered plainly, as if they were having an average, everyday conversation. Not long after, Shika find herself walking to the room because she needed to talk to Sasuke. As she approached she heard Mina panting and saying "Sasuke, you bastard," This made her hesitate, but she knocked none-the-less.

'Um….M-Mina your boy-boyfriend is h-here. Y-you kn-know, Ita-Itachi," Shika managed to stutter at the closed door. Soon after, Mina burst out of the room, her hair knotted and her clothes disorderly and slightly torn. "That bastard, Sasuke picked a fight with me. Thank you for coming," She lied to cover up what happened.

"Oh. Sasuke?' Shika seemed a little dazed. "Yes, Shika?"

"Is it ok with you if your GAY boyfriend could spend the night at my place? I mean we are best friends and all so…" she trailed off.

"Whatever."

"So he can?" Shika cheerfully yelled. The raven covered his ears. "Not if you do that again.'

"Ok. Naruto! Tonight it's you and me watching movies, gossiping and eating that ramen that you just bought for me."

"Really? Teme said yes? Yay! I love you Sasuke." The fox glomped his boyfriend. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love you too. Now go before I change my mind." Naruto immediately grabbed the hand of his best friend and started to skip happily to the Nara residence.

"Damn it, Sasuke. Why'd you say yes, now I'm stuck with them. How troublesome." Shikamaru complained, though his tone made him seem disinterested. The raven smirked slightly at the thought of the hell Shikamaru is gonna go through. "Sorry man. There's just so much of Naruto's obnoxiousness that one person can take."

-Authors comments-

Please review me and my friends worked hard on this and more chapter will be added so keep an eye out for them bye.


	2. What is going on?

**Hey readers. This is the second chapter of Sasuke sex god. I'm really sorry about the hold up. I'll be uploading these next chapters as soon as I get them typed and will be working on a sequel that'll show-off other relationships but will still contain Sasuke. I don't own Naruto or any of the characters other than Shika, Mina, and a few more (added later). Enjoy~ and please review.**

Mina and Itachi went back to Itachi's home. When they walked in they found Itachi's roommate Deidara giving his other roommate Sasori a lap dance, both of them seemed fairly drunk at the time.

"Damn. Why did I ever decide to share a apartment with these freaks." Itachi, face palmed.

"Yeah really" Mina said as she wiped away the trickle of blood that had escaped her nose. Itachi went into a small rage and shooed Sasori and Deidara off to their rooms because they had to change for the double date Mina wanted.

*to Shika and Naruto*

"Why are we watching this stupid chick flick? It's troublesome." Shikamaru complained in his normal bored tone.

"Well it's because I'm a girl and Naruto is gay, duh! Plus it's our sleepover not yours." Shika bluntly replied shooting him a "duh dummy" look.

"I wish Sasu-chan was here!" a depressed Naruto screamed.

"I don't, if Sasukenii-san saw how we are right now he'd try to hurt me for "wanting to steal his little kistune" at the moment Shika's head was placed on a pillow in his lap.

*to Sasuke*

Sasuke sat quietly on the floor in his rooms admiring the statue of Naruto he hand made from ramen cups that Naruto had used. He had a shrine to Naruto but this is his favorite part of it. He quietly whimpered "I miss my little kistune"

*to the double date*

Mina, Itachi, Deidara, and Sasori were all seated at a booth joking around and drinking.

"So Itachi-san have you finally told Mina-chan about Himura-OW!" Deidara was about to ask when a certain weasel looking person kicked him in the shin hard.

"I have absolutely no clue what you're talking about…" Itachi coolly took a sip of his sake as Mina kept shooting him confused looked, totally lost.

"Yes you do, remember that one time in a closet-OUCH! Stop that!" Itachi had yet again cut Deidara off with a swift kick to the shin. Now the two were glaring at each other over the table. This was interrupted when Mina tapped Itachi's shoulder and asked "Who are you guys talking about?"

"No one. He's drunk and babbling on about a fictional story." Itachi firmly said as he gazed past her.

*to the sleepover*

"Naruto-kun!" Shika yelled as they jumped on the couch. They were currently having a pillow fight and feathers were flying everywhere.

"You're so troublesome" Shikamaru mumbled as he walked into the living room. Naruto threw his pillow at Shikamaru and caught him in the face with it. As the pillow made contact Shika pounced off of the couch at him while screaming "Dog-pile on Shikamaru!" Naruto followed her lead and soon they had him pinned under them.

"So troublesome" Shikamaru said. He was lying on his stomach with two on his back laughing like total maniacs.

"Oh! I have a great idea. Let's dress him up like a girl!" Shika said, smacking high fives with Naruto.

"Oh god, help me" Shikamaru whined.

*to Sasuke*

"Sasu-kun, where are you~" Sakura and Inu practically purred as they stacked out the Uchiha compound.

"Fuck…" He swore under his breath. Despite the fact that he's clearly in love with Naruto and has told his fangirls so they stills believe they can make Sasuke fall in love with them.

"Sasu-kun~!" Sasuke left the compound just in time to avoid Ino and Sakura. He continued down the street a little to the ramen stand at the end. He never entered it he just stared at it and thought of Naruto. In the corner of his eye he saw what looked like a fire. When he turned to look it was gone.

*to the sleepover*

"Oh my goodness you look so pretty!" Shika squealed. "Now it's your turn Naru-chan"

"I got that covered. Sexy No Justu!" Naruto turned into a girl with orange and black pj's. "OMG! This is so fun!"

"So what's it like dating Sasunii-san?"

"A total pain in the ass, but he's sexy and sweet I just can't help but love him!" he squealed. "What about Gaara?"

"It's kinda boring. Well except for when he does this one thing-"

"Stop! I don't wanna know!" Shikamaru uncharacteristically yelled, covering his ears and yelling "La la la can't hear you la la la!"

"Geez what a brat" Shika pouted.

*to Sasuke*

Hinata was sitting on a bench, her arms were pulled up to her chest and her arms were wrapped firmly around her legs.

"Hi Hinata-san" Sasuke called to her, a devious smirk on his face.

"h-hi U-Uchiha-san…" her lavender eyes focused on her shoes. Sasuke sat down next to her, plotting a game in his head.

"Hinata-san, how innocent are you?" She stared at him, confused. "Do you know about bj's and hj's?" She blushed bright red at this. "You must be dying in that jacket, you should take it off"

"What?!" her eyes grew wide. He pulled out a kunai and he grazed the cold steel blade across her cheek as he leaned in closer.

"Take it off now."

*to the sleepover*

"Naruto earlier today I hea-" Shika was cut off by the phone ringing.

"It's Gaara-kun!" Naruto squealed.

"Calm down Naru-chan. Gaara calls me all the time. This isn't really that special." Shika replied boredly. Naruto ignored her and said "You should invite him over."

"Oh hell no" Shikamaru said bursting into the room.

"Shhh for god's sake I'm on the phone…fine you can come over if you'd like Gaara. I'll see you soon"

"Fuck!" Shikamaru hit his head on the closest wall as Naruto hopped around chanting "Yay! Yay!"

*to the date*

"Sasori take Deidara home." Ordered Itachi.

"Awwwwww, why?" Deidara and Mina complained at the same time.

"Because he's totally drunk and it's our date so I was kinda hoping it would be treated as so…." His voice faded.

"Fine. Don't get your panties in a twist." Sasori mumbling as he dragged Deidara to a different table.

*to Gaara*

Gaara was skipping down the side of the road on his when to Shika's while eating a cookie (**a.n/I know it's kind of crack but my friend fell in love with this sentence so I don't want to change it)**. All of a sudden Gaara saw Sasuke holding a kunai to Hinata's cheek so without thinking he threw his cookie. Sasuke turned in surprise when the cookie knocked the kunai from his hand. This gave Hinata the time to make a break for it.

*to the sleepover*

The doorbell rang at the Nara's causing Naruto to jump up and pull Shika along, whom was sending a picture of Fem!Shikamaru to his girlfriend Temari.

"Pizza!" The two of them screamed as Naruto flung the door open. A pout quickly replaced Naruto's grin as he saw Gaara standing there, pizzaless no less. "You're not the pizza man"

"No, but I have a little trouble making boy. He was harassing the most innocent girl known to mankind" Gaara replied as he shoved a pouting Sasuke into the house.

"Bad Sasuke! No more threatening Hinata-chan!" Shika scolded her big brother with a firm look and a slight 'tsk' at the end.

"But she's clearly trying to snatch up my Naruto" everyone looked at Sasuke with a 'Wtf' look and yelled "SHE'S DATING KIBA!" Sasuke was clearly trying to recover some valid proof but all he could come up with was a weak "I think it's a cover-up" before the doorbell rang and sent Naruto into a sort of hysteria over pizza.

*to Itachi and Mina*

"Itachi, what was Dei-chan talking about?" Mina was still confused over the odd conversation that she was previously caught in. Itachi sighed "Mina-Chan, I told you it's a fictional story created by a drunken man. So please just forget the topic ever came up" Itachi was trying to maintain his cool and not become annoyed at the pinkette.

"Why?" She whined in a high pitched tone.

"How did Shika brainwash Sasori and Deidara into coming again?" Itachi wondered under his breath. "Oh. Yeah" he performed a few hand signs then lightly touched Mina's forehead.

"What were we talking about?" Mina was back to being confused.

"Oh…um…..we were talking about…..how adorable Shika and Gaara are together" He lied.

*to the growing sleepover*

"Oh Gaara-kun, Shika just wouldn't stop talking about you. She was acting totally love-struck" Naruto positively gushed, which clearly led to a pillow hitting him in the face…..hard.

"Don't try to turn this on me. You were completely crazy about discussing your love life" Shika scowled at the blonde.

"Awww…I knew it. I felt the same. I couldn't stop thinking about my cute little kistune either," Sasuke was practically glowing.

"I bet he was staring at his homemade Naruto shrine," Shika snickered when her brother began to look like an apple.

"You little bitch," Sasuke screeched as he tackled Shika. "Oww! What the hell?" he yelled in dismay.

"You were hurting me…..so I simply did what Itachi told me to do." She carefully examined herself to make sure the justu didn't backfire and burn her.

"I love a girl who can protect herself," Gaara smiled at Shika lightly before placing a chaste kiss upon Shika's cheek.

*to Sasori and Deidara*

"Sasori why doesn't Itachi-san want Mina to know about what happened between him and Himura-san? Or better yet about Himura-san in general?" A very confused bomber question.

"That is because it could ruin our mission" said Sasori in a lazy tone. Suddenly his phone went off. "Speaking of the devil. Guess who is tired of us being gone so long and has decided to come drag us back from our mission,"

"No. She wouldn't dare." Deidara groaned.

*To the sleepover*

RingRingRing

"Excuse me," Shika said as she popped out of the small circle they had formed and left the room. "Hello?"

"Hey guess who is coming to get us?" Sasori teased.

"Is she bringing-"

"I don't know" Sasori interrupted her.

"I hope they don't ruin everything we built up….but that means that soon we will be able to give up this act," Shika tried containing her excitement but failed in doing so.

"Yep. I can't wait. I miss the way things use to be. I'll over with Deidara soon," Sasori said with the same happiness.

"What about Itachi?"

"Oh, I'm sure she'll be here soon to personally pick him up" Shika could imagine the smirk on his face clearly thanks to his very amused voice.

"Sasori, don't you dare," Shika warned in the most dangerous tone she could manage over the phone.

"Sorry but I have to go" Sasori said before he hung up on her.

"Shika-chan," Naruto's voice snapped the brunette out of her daydream.

"What was that all about?" Gaara and Sasuke asked at the same time.

"Sasori and Deidara are coming over" Shika answered quietly, a faint smile was tugging at her lips.

"How troublesome," Shikamaru whined "I thought that this sleepover couldn't get any worse than this," this left Shika mumbling to herself " Oh trust me nii-san it will get much, much worse.


	3. The Truth

**I'm hoping this is much faster than the last time. I was having tons of computer problems but now I have a system in order to finish and add more stories. You see I write them in school when the idea pops up and then I come home and type it while adjusting the story to my lucking as I go. I don't own Naruto.**

"Ohmigod! Just think of how cute Shika and Gaara's chibi babies will be!" Mina squealed in joy. "OH. MY. GOD." Something in her voice had changed. Itachi glanced at her, seeing that the color drained from her face. He abruptly turned around.

He noticed the trails of fire leading to his table. "Oh….shit…..um…Mina, stay calm and she won't hurt you….much" Itachi said, as his cool started to slip. Her eyes widened "What?

A beautiful kunoichi started walking the flame walkway she had made. Her eyes changed from a cool onyx to a flaming orange, her long was an assortment of colors; black at the roots, then gradient to red, followed by an orange of sorts, and ended with the bright yellow ends. Lastly was her skin, she was pale and oddly enough her veins seemed golden.

Without a care in the world she marched up to Itachi and plopped down in his lap, playing with his black ponytail, this peeved Mina.

*to the sleepover*

"Wait Shika. What do you mean by 'it will get way worse'?" Gaara seemed to be the only one to catch on.

"You'll find o-"She was cut off by a loud crash. "Everyone hide. Now!" she quickly made her way to the door.

Two girls stormed in. the first had shoulder length brown hair and pink eyes. She was kindly carrying an unconscious Deidara. The second girl had multi-colored neon streaked hair that was pulled up into a messy bun and purple eyes. She was dragging Sasori around by his ankle like a rag doll.

"My god! Can't you ever be nice to Sasori at all, Hima-chan" Shika whined. The answer she received was a loud "Nope!" and a Sasori being thrown at her.

*to Itachi*

"Who the hell are you?" Mina yelled as she jumped to her feet.

"Oh, me? I'm Itachi's girlfriend and I heard that you're the bitch he chose to use for his mission" the mystery girl replied smugly.

"Kei-chan be nice to Mina-chan," a very irritated Itachi said "Oh. And stop playing with my hair."

*back to Shika*

"So Kei-chan sent us here to bring you back to the-"

"I know. Sasori has already informed me, but I'm not quite done. Can I have one more month?" Shika asked, cutting off Haruka.

"No can do, Uchiha. We need you at the b-"

"OK, OK. Let me pack Sasori, Deidara, and my own stuff and we can head out" Shika said, yet again cutting them off.

"Well hurry the hell up. Kei-chan is being very impatient today," Himari announced.

"Oh yeah. Most likely killing Mina-chan at the moment." Shika said coolly.

"WAIT! WHAT?" Came a scream from the doorway. They all turned to see Naruto.

"Dobe…what about spying don't you understand?" Sasuke signed with a sigh.

*to the bar*

I don't have to be nice to the slut you were spending your dear time with instead of me" As Kei's anger grew the flames seemed to rise with it.

"Still spending my time with actually" Itachi replied. The girl huffed "Not if I can help it"

"Wait, so you're the girl Dei-chan was said was in the closet with Itachi!" Mona said as she regained her memory.

"Itachi! Why the fuck does Deidara-baka know what happened in the damn closet!" Kei yelled into his ear. Itachi sighed "Kei-chan. All of them know it. We live with nosey people. Plus Shika's sharigan doesn't help any."

"SHE USED HER SHARIGAN TO SPY ON US!" Kei yelled the flames now shot up and almost touching the ceiling. Itachi shrugged "They were trying to find us; thought we disappeared. You know how she gets. She was really worried"

"If I may ask who is 'they'?" Mina questioned. Kei was quick to reply with a "Oh those people at the Aka-" she was cut off by Itachi. "It's just a few Friend's we always have over at Kei's place" he said as he shot Kei a glare.

*to the Nara residents*

"Sasuke! Shikamaru! You guys know not to spy on me," Shika said manically as flames started to shoot toward the ceiling around her.

"Oh shit." Shikamaru began herding people out of the room and far away from her, before anyone got hurt.

"Shika-chan please keep calm." Haruka chirped in.

"Yeah Uchiha cool it. Unless you'd like some help," Himari gestured to a nearby sink. Shika gave a small sigh "I'd much prefer to step outside. Or perhaps start to pack their stuff…" the flames slowly came to an end as they left the house.

*to their house*

"SASORI! DEIDARA!" Haruka screamed

"WAKE UP MOTHER FUCKERS,"Himari yelled.

"SASORI, DEIDARA IF YOU GET UP I'LL KILL TOBI!," Shika exclaimed. This made the boys shoot up in joy.

"Ugh you were right. Here," Himari handed Shika 20 dollars. Shika took the money "Ha! I grew up with them of course I won our little bet"

"You bet on what would wake us up," Deidara sounded offended.

"Oh get over it girly," Himari teased him

"Ugh. I can't believe two girls knocked us out," Sasori said rubbing the back of his head. "It's not fair!" Deidara whined. Himari grinned "You're just upset that you got beat by girls."

"But we wanted to watch Kei-sama kill Mina." The two boys whined in unison.

"Don't call her Kei-sama. You must call her Kei-sama." Shika knew she sounded like a whiny bitch but she could care less.

"But if we don't call her it we'll be killed!" Deidara exclaimed. "I don't care. Saso-chan don't call her that" She pleaded with him.

"We still want to watch her kill Mina-chan!" Deidara stated.

*to the bar*

"There's no privacy anywhere!" Kei yelled in anger.

"I know a Kai yuri," Itachi said as he nuzzled his face into the side of her neck, not noticing Mina was about to escape. But just because Itachi missed it didn't mean Kei did. "Mina-chan" she said sweetly "SIT DOWN!" that sweetness quickly turned sour and the flames near the door rose.

"Fuck!" the pinkette cursed as she made her way back to her seat.

*to Shika*

"Shika-chan, can I borrow your phone for a second?" Deidara asked.

"Sure Dei-chan. "Shika said handing him her cell phone to him "Wait! Why do you want my phone?" He was rapidly typing "Oh no reason, just gonna send a quick text to Kei-chan." He smirked and he clicked the send button.

"You're telling her about what Shika just told us aren't you?" Sasori accused with a lazy smile on his puppet face. Deidara tried to look as innocent as possible as he handed Shika her phone and said "I don't know what you're talking about."

*to the bar*

"Oh wait I got a text" Kei said before she burst out in a bout of laughter. Itachi grew suspicious at this and asked her why she was suddenly laughing. "Shika just told me that our little Mina here," She gestured to her "Cheated on you with….Sasuke."

"THAT LITTLE BITCH!" Mina exclaimed at the same moment the group walked in, being led by Shika.

"What was that Mina-chan?" smiled smiled deviously down at her friend. "Would you mind Kei-chan?" In response Kei rolled her eyes and said "As long as you don't kill her."

"Yeah because bad things happen if you make Kei-sama mad," Sasori decided to put his two cents in.

"I told you not to call her that," Shika turned to face him and growled "You will be the next one I hurt," Apparently this was all a big game to him because he smirked at her and attached chakra strings to pull her closer to him "Oh really?"

"Ew! Not in front of my brother you sick bastard," Shika said as she tried to hit him.

"Oh just get on with it before I kill her." Kei was fairly irritated by the display.

"Fine. Mina are you there?" Shika poked her. "Hello earth to Mina-chan. It's more

amusing if you look when I torture you," Mina looked up at her brunette friend with wide eyes. "But Shika-chan you wouldn't hurt me would you? I thought we were friends."

"That was before you cheated on Ita-chan with my sexually challenged brother, Sasuke, Slut,"

Shika explained before trapping Mina in her worst nightmare.

*to the Nara residents*

"Ahh! Sasuke Harder!" Naruto moaned from inside a closet at the Nara's.

"Shut up dobe! I know what I'm doing" Sasuke yelled as he thrusted into the blonde's ass. Soon the door flew open and Temari stood there with her fan "Your seven minutes are up so get dressed and get out."

"Oh…Temari, you want to join us now?" Sasuke shot her a sexy smirk

"Shut up you stupid ass Ucniha!" she screamed, hitting the raven with her fan. "How could you possibly be related to that sweet little Shika?" Sasuke snorted at this and mumbled "Yeah cause the Akasuki is real sweet.

"Shut up bastard. Now she will kill us all" Shikamaru yelled, he was falling apart from the thoughts of how she would do it.

*to the bar*

"Okay I'm done now!" Shika merrily said, skipping back over to her beloved puppet. Mina whimpered with pain as Kei stepped forward and stomped on her hand. The disgusting crack from the force, radiated throughout the room.

"Ow!" Mina was now screaming. Kei smirked, grabbing Mina by her hair and threw her across the room. The red kunoichi walked towards Mina and gave her several devastating kicks to the ribs.

"Kei-chan, hurry up already and kill the dumb slut!" Himari and Shika yelled in unison.

"Shut up. I want to watch her suffer." Kei yelled back, flames reaching the ceiling. Then Mina stepped back, while Kei's eyes shined bright orange. "MoyasuNoJustu," Mina began screaming louder and squirming, receiving several more deathly kicks. After several minutes all that was left of Mina was ash.

"We're leaving…now!" Kei said as she began walking out of the burnt bar, her hair was slowly turning all black as the flames around them quickly died down.

"What happened to Kei's hair?" Haruka asked. Kei turned back to them and pulled a strand of her hair in front of her face to see what color it was. Shika looked at Haruka with a 'duh!' expression and said "She's out of chakra, and since black is her natural hair color it's back." Himari looked rather impressed "Wow you must have used a lot of fucking chakra to beat up that little bitch…"

"Don't forget she was using a lot of effort in the fire walkway and trying to keep from burning down the building, but you wouldn't know that she was using a little earth chakra because you weren't close enough to see the small glints of green in her eyes." Itachi smirked as he threw Kei over his shoulder. Kei was kicking, hitting and yelling "Put me down you stupid weasel!" Wishing she hadn't used up all her chakra up. "Come on I didn't use up my stamina I can walk!"

"It would be bad if you used up anymore stamina by the time we got home." Itachi teased.

"Wee!" Haruka cheered from her spot on Deidara's back.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?" Himari said turning to Sasori. He scowled at her "As you can tell" he said, waving his hands around. "She's gone."

*to Shika*

"SHIKA WHAT THE FU-," After a few gagging noises Sasuke was successfully locked in a closet by Shika. "Sorry nii-san, but you screwed up and now I have to clean it up…..again," Shika explained in a monotone voice similar to Itachi's. "Now for the next step: Brainwashing."

"Little sis! Please don't hurt me. I won't tell anyone. I never have." Shikamaru begged on his knees. Shika bent down to his level and softly kissed his cheek. "Nii-san I need a few things, can you get them?" she handed him a list. Shikamaru simply nodded and left to get the things on the list.

"Well. Well. Well. Aren't you silent Naru-chan." Shika said as she turned to the group. Naruto snarled "Don't Naru-chan 3 me. You little bi-," Before Naruto could finish Shika held a kunai to his throat. "The last person who called me a bitch died…Poor Mina," She smirked.

"So this was all an act?" Gaara sounded hurt. "Why'd you go out with me?"

"You were very interesting. Not as a vessel for the one tail but as a person." Her gaze softened as she looked at him. "You see, I am unlike the other Akasuki members. They look for more people like you and Naruto while I try to do my own thing but within their rules. Plus you remind me of my Saso-chan"

"I thought he was gay." Temari chimed in. this seemed to piss Shika off "He was drunk. Get the hell over it! And if you didn't notice Dei-chan looks like a fucking girl!"

"Well I just thought," Temari started warily.

"I don't care!" Shika began forming hand signs.

"What are you doing?" Naruto asked. As if to answer him she said "MemoryNoJustu" and everyone in the room except for her fell into a sort of daze. "Shika Uchiha Nara, Itachi Uchiha, Sasuke Uchiha and Mina Haruno went to the village hidden in the mist to train. Unfortunately Mina died in a terrible house fire when there. Sasori and Deidara suddenly disappeared, probably to meet their friend in the village hidden in the mist," She made her way to Garra "Shika broke up with Gaara because a long distance relationship with the danger of death was too much to deal with" she kissed his cheek softly "Now it's time to sleep" She snapped her fingers and they all fell to the ground.

"Mow for Sasukenii-san." She laughed, throwing the closet door open and knocking Sasuke out. She then went to wait outside for Shikamaru to return.

**If you want to know what happens to Sasuke you have to read Fun with the Akasuki. I'm open to all suggestions and I hope you enjoyed this story.**


End file.
